I Can Do It Myself...Will Somebody Help Me?

 

 

One thing that I am still learning about Multiple Sclerosis is that I am/ and have to continue to redefine myself.  I consider myself a work in progress.  I still fight with control and be independent in many of my life states.  What frustrates me and I fear that it always will be that at times I can be my own worst enemy and not requesting help.  This is not a really not a good thing.

Physical and emotional changes have wrecked havoc on my self confidence and self esteem, but I am learning and will continue to learn how to alter my ways of doing. I am learning to modify my environment to make cooking, cleaning easier. I used to not want to ask for assistance from my family, like my husband and my children. Especially my children.  I felt that they were children they needed a childhood and they need not to be burdened by "Mom Chores".  Now, my whole view on this has shifted.  Yes, now, the kids have a chore list, more so than before.  The focus is if we want Mom to stay healthy, then she needs help.  I am learning to live with this. 

Living with Advance Multiple Sclerosis is not easy.  I now use a cane.  I cook, at time, in my cart, and I have a motorized scooter.  These are all things that, do I like? No, but do I need them? Yes.  Do they give me more independence and control? Yes.  I call them my necessary evil.  

Look, asking for assistance is hard, difficult, embarrassing, but, needed.  I am slowly learning to put my pride aside and say, "I really can't do this or that, could you please help me?"  It is still difficult because I do worry about being a burden on my family.  But, I also realized that not asking for help, is the same as asking for help and doing too much can aid to a serious set back for me.  What I have found out is that doing too much leads to exacerbations, which leads to a relapses, which leads to more steroids and the vicious cycle starts all over again.  I grit and bear it, but, I have to admit, I need help more often than not.  And, I think that I am okay with this....well at least today.