Home Bound But Heart Is Open
There is a saying about the beginning of things, like Spring can come roaring in like a lion and leaving out like a lamb. But this saying comes to mind when life and life events happen. This saying is the only thing that comes to mind when I think of the beginning of 2013. With the personal issues, stressors and passings of loved ones and friends, I am praying that 2013 will go out like a lamb because it is starting with a roar.
My husband recently lost a classmate, and this got me to thinking. To see a beautiful, young woman lose her life at 42 years is heartbreaking. I looked at what all she accomplished, all who she had touched and all that she had left behind. But, I looked at her and was not only saddened by the loss but realizing that one cannot live isolated in a box. I call this my Oprah moment, or my "Aha" moment that life is about building and continuing friendships, reaching out to others, and just being there for others. So, though I NEVER make New Years Resolutions, my husband and I took stock in our lives and realized that we have to do better, be better and be present in other lives.
I have now faced the fact that I am essentially home bound. I am not saying this for sympathy, I am just stating a fact. My home bound is in the sense that I go some places, i.e. some stores, library with my kids, church, but all these activities take place during the day. I want to reinforce my circle of people, of friends, but it comes with a catch. My catch is that by the end of the day, by evening my MS exhaustion is at a peak. Now, all I have to do is figure out how to expand my circle, strengthen my relationships when EVERYTHING is always scheduled for later on the evenings i.e. 7PM and later.
So, though I know that I will not be able to make many, or any of these functions, the solution is to open my home. I may be home bound, but my heart is open to increasing my circle. I feel like I have been in a fog for so long and it is finally lifting. I hope that my friends reading this will know that they will soon be getting phone calls. Please pick up and please come by and see me. I may be essentially home bound, but my heart is open.
