Staying Positive In Difficult Times.

Staying Positive In Difficult Times

One thing that anyone knows about me is that I love my family.  I love my husband, my children and my entire family and their happiness and contentment in life is my focus.  But when one of my family members is hurt, disappointment, angered, or wronged it hurts me to my soul and I try to fix the problem.  To fix a problem is what I like to do. I like to make things better for the people that I love.  I sit, and think and ponder on what actions or plans I could initiate to rectify the situation.  But, in today's society, there is something that I cannot go up against and win...that is the racist mind.  This is a terrible state that my family members and many other races deal with on a regular basis. But sometimes, you just get tired and need to vent, to sort out your feelings, then, with a refreshed mind, look to be positive and continue to strive toward excellence.

Yes, I know, you are probably thinking that me stating that someone that my family is working with is racist is a copout and that this term is being so overused.  And that is true. But, look at the facts. When your family member is professional, ethical, graduate level degreed twice over, years of experience and STILL gets passed over for advancement, left out, buried under foolishness, its just damn hard being and staying positive.  But, I try and I am going to continue to try. I don't have any choice.  Unfortunately, this is what life is about, at least this life.   I will let God handle things, because Lord knows what would happen if I was left to my own accord.  I know two wrongs don't make things right, but sometimes, just sometimes, sticking it back to that person would feel oh so good.  Oh, excuse me.  I went off on a tangent. Don't hate. I'm still human. Namaste. Positive thinking and positive vibes and prayer. 

Staying positive.  I get advice from my mother and she, ofcourse, says to pray.  I do pray, but I still get discouraged, I still get angry, but I still pray.  I pray that my family member will be acknowledged  and rewarded for their education, their hard work and their professionalism. I pray that what is for them, is for them and nothing and no one can stand in the way of this.  Faith in God is the only thing that I am positive about right now, there is and never was any faith in man.  Man always and continues to put you down.  Plus, staying positive is the only way to keep chronic illness  symptoms at bay.  One has to be careful that if you do not do something actively to control your level of anger and stress so that you won't exacerbate any chronic illness symptoms.  But, stress is stress, disappointment is disappointment and all you can do is recognize these feelings, sort them out...then...continue with positive thinking. 

Positive thoughts and positive vibes and ofcourse, pray, lots and lots of prayer.  One thing what I found out is that difficult times like this seperate the strong from the weak.  The faithful from the non faithful.  When life hands you disappointment, take time to acknowledge the hurt, the pain, the anger.  After acknowledging the feelings of your disappointment, choose your action.  You have two choices. You can lie down and wallow, complain and let this break you,  or you can suck it up and let this anger, this disappointment, this pain be a motivator to strive above the foolishness.  A motivator to strive to find a better place for your talents, where they are appreciated and acknowledged.  A motivator just to find a better place...period.

I am a firm believer in the old saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  It's okay to be strong, but sometimes it's okay not to be so strong.  It's okay to feel belated, to feel sad, angered or disappointed.  It's okay.  I think that's what we all need is just a place to have our feelings validated.  So, that's what I will do for my family member.  I will validate, give compassion and understanding and be beside them in whatever decision they make.  I will continue to pray for the best and place hope in God and not man.  There is nothing that I can do about how and why people think the way they do, act the way they act, or do what they do.  All I know is that my God is bigger and better than you.  

Namaste. 

Shifting Focus On Others And Not Just Ourselves

Shifting Focus 

It is really easy when you are sick and dealing daily with a chronic illness to be self focused. Okay, downright egocentric in some aspects. But this is understandable and no need for guilt for those who sit and do mental body wellness checks to make sure you are up to snuff.  But, when tragedies happen in the news and around us, it is time to shift focus to this outside of self and realize your strengths, your kindness and charitable acts.

This past July 20, 2012, James Holmes during a screening of the "Dark Knight" opened fired with his assault rifles and killed 12 people and injured 58 others.  On July 21, 2012 Tameka Raymond, the R&B Usher Raymond's ex-wife loss her 11year old son due to a jet ski accident. The list of tragedies can go on and on. But what rings true is when these tragedies strike a chord within you and you focus your thoughts, your talents, your prayers outward instead of inward.  

News of others hurting makes you realize that if you think you have it bad, there are others worse off than you.  So, I use these tragedies to keep my mind clear, and focused on things other than my own self pity.  Yes, you may be chronically ill, or having a bad day, or having a bad week, month, etc.  But, with chronic illnesses there is a time of calm when the aggressive symptoms of our illness ebbs and you start feeling your own kind of normal.  Think of the people whose normal is no more. A new normal for these individuals is what they face due to losing a loved one, or being impaired in some way after a tragedy.  

Empathy is a big word. I feel empathy for people.  Empathy keeps me humble. Empathy keeps me remembering my losses, my pains, my disappointments, so I feel for these individuals.  Empathy keeps me grounded and keeps me for being so self involved not to remember the pain and sorrow or happiness of my fellow man.   It doesn't cost anything to keep people who have suffered so in your mind, your thoughts and your prayers.  

So, as I close my thoughts are to the many, many stories of loss not mentioned.  My thoughts and prayers are with the families who have to some way, some how find the strength to carry on, which is easier said than done.  I may not have experienced your level of pain and sorrow, but I know pain and I know sorrow and my heart aches for you.  Please know, that on this day, someone is thinking of you, having compassion for you and praying for you.  

A Laugh A Day Keeps The Doctor Away!

The Healing Power of Laughter

Laughing, I am finding out is the best medicine.  I am back from vacation with my wonderful family and I just figured out what I was missing....Laughter.  There is something to the healing power of laughter.  Laughter and merriment is even in the Old Testament, with it stating, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” What better place to get advice about laughter and merriment than the Good Book!?!

I really started looking into laughter, especially spending time with my family and just laughing.  I was startled to find out facts that I did not even know about how good laughing is on our mood and bodies.  Laughter reduces pain by producing pain killing hormones called endorphins (that's the feel good hormone in our brain).  Laughter actually strengthens the immune system by producing T-cells, interferon and immune proteins called globulins. And good ole laughter aids in decreasing stress.  When we are stressed we produce a hormone called cortisol.  Laughter significantly lowers the cortisol levels and returns your body to a more relaxed state. So, that explains the lower pain levels and the relaxation I felt spending quality time with my family.  I was feeling so good that I might have to try to bottle them up and keep them by my side.

So, I am on the quest to have a good laugh everyday.  Well, I still have a good cry daily, but now I am focusing on laughing and feeling happy.  I have increased my "Laugh Arsenal" which includes ALL of the Cosby Shows, DVD's of Everybody Loves Raymond, Everybody Hates Chris, and ofcourse, DVD's of The Kings of Comedy, which I might add is a classic, and Kevin Hart. I am ready to laugh and laugh and laugh.

There are so many ways to ease your stress and increase your laughter and learn to find the fun in your life.  Remember to learn to laugh at yourself.  Sometimes we can take ourselves much to serious....STOP! Another way to increase your laughter factor is not to take life too seriously. In all your trials and tribulations and the stressors of life, find the other, lighter side of things. It's there, all you have to do is find it. Sit back and relax and enjoy a comedy, call a friend.  Another great way to find happiness and increase your laugh factor is to spend time with children.  Kids are exhuberant and just all out fun.  They are the perfect cure for a bad mood.  

With all this being said, I wish you all the gift of laughter.  It's okay to laugh at yourself.  It's okay to giggle like a kid.  It's okay not to do anything and watch a comedy and chuckle. Sometimes as adults we forget the simpler things and our view points get a little jaded and we forget just the simple things in life.  And what is more simpler than laughing. There are just too many benefits of a good belly laugh not to just...well...laugh.