Pain, Pain, Go Away...

Pain, Pain, Go Away...

I remember so well that cute little saying I learned in kindergarten of, 'Rain, rain, go away, come back on another day.' This morning it was raining.  The rain didn't bother me, but the pain that I was in and still am in is the problem.  I thought of the cute little saying about the rain, but for me it changed to, 'Pain, pain, go away, don't come back on any day.'  Even in this MS world, there are even cute euphemisms for pain, it is called MS Hug. Doesn't that sound cute?  But it is soo not cute by any means.  Well, today the MS is hugging me and unlike the warm, loving hugs I get from my kids and my husband that I love so much, this hug is just downright horrible. 

The MS Hug is just like a hug, except that it doesn't feel good at all.  The MS Hug is a tightening sensation that feels like I have been griped by the most extreme pair of Spanx ever around my torso. But you see with my MS Hug, it just doesn't stop around my torso. No, my MS Hug REALLY loves me unfortunately.  My MS Hug not only tightens around my torso but also goes up to my neck, shoulders and my jaw. Today is not a good day. Today is a really painful day. Today, I want the pain to go away, never to come back any day. Unfortunately, the MS Hug is around more often than not, and it gets worse each and every time. Ugh.

Sometimes in dealing with a chronic illness, the day in and day out of things can be a bit much. Some days I just need a break from the symptoms. A break from the constant pain. A break from all the medications.  A beak from the litany of doctor appointments. A break from...me.  But, alas, that cannot be, so you deal. You deal with the pain. You deal with emotional distress and depression. You deal with the guilt of not being the person you were before the illness. You deal with people not understanding your illness. You deal with people judging you for not doing more.  You. Just. Deal. 

Pain, pain, go away, don't come back on any day.