I'm Going, I'm Going, I'm Going...I Can't...I'm So Tired!

I'm Going, I'm Going, I'm Going...I Can't...

I'm So Tired!

One thing that I hate about multiple sclerosis is the unpredictability of it all.  I hate not being able to schedule fun activities, or plan activities and not being able to follow through with the plans due to my illness.  MS has robbed me of this ability to do this.  MS has robbed and is robbing me of expanding my social network and having some much needed female, friend companionship.  

I cannot tell you how much I hate MS.  There is a wonderful sisterhood group that I am a part of.  It just started in November.  There was no group this past December, and the next scheduled one is in January.  I was so hoping to be able to go this Friday, January 18.  I had great hopes and expectations. But, to no avail, I woke up today with achy feet, dizziness and crippling fatigue.   And today, I cried. I cried because I had made plans. I cried because I had expectations. I cried because I was looking forward to seeing my sisters, my friends,  my sorors.  I cried because I hate disappointing not only myself, but others. I cried for the loss of really living, of really experiencing things or planning things.  I cry because MS is a real son of a bitch.  

So, as I close this out, I am a little down, a little weepy, a lot disappointed. I want my sisters in my monthly group to know that I love them, I cherish them, I miss them and I need them.  The mind is willing, but the body is weak.  So, if you know someone who has MS, please don't think because the person hasn't been to your functions, or doesn't have the energy to talk forever on the phone, or at times seems isolated to you or to other friends.  Please know that that person is alway there.  That person is wanting, wishing and desiring to be the life of the party, the belle of the ball, but, MS won't let us be.  Please don't forget about us.  Please know we are still here.  But know, that by 8pm, we are in bed.  

Adieu